Top 10 Most Common Fantasies Among Women

Key takeaways Fantasizing is the rule, not the exception: every scenario measured here appeals to more than one woman in three. The most widely shared isn’t the wildest: 92.2% of women in a Québec study fantasize about romantic feelings during sex. Being dominated (64.6%), a public place (57.3%), two men (56.5%), being tied up (52.1%): more than one woman in two can relate. A fantasy isn’t a plan. Many stay in your head, and that’s perfectly fine. For each one, you’ll find ideas to explore it gently, solo or with a partner.

Let’s get one thing straight right away: having fantasies is normal. Truly. It’s not dirty, weird, or a sign that something is “missing” in your relationship. It’s simply your brain playing with desire. Fantasies are an intimate playground. They can be soft, intense, romantic, very explicit, or all of that at once. Some women keep them private. Others love sharing them. And some never want to act them out. And spoiler: that’s perfectly fine.

So if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re the only one biting your lip while imagining certain scenarios… relax. You’re far from alone. Let’s dive into the top 10 most common fantasies among women. Maybe you’ll recognize yourself. Maybe you won’t. Either way, it’s all good.

The top 10 at a glance

Fantasy	What it’s about	Women who fantasize about it
1. Consensual Domination (Total Surrender)	Letting go, not having to decide	64.6%
2. Public Sex (Without Being Seen)	Adrenaline, the thrill of the forbidden	57.3% in public, 81.7% in an unusual place
3. The Mysterious Stranger	Raw desire, no mental load	48.9%
4. Taking Control	Owning your power, setting the pace	46.7%
5. The Threesome	Curiosity, being the center of attention	56.5% with two men, 36.9% with two women
6. Ultra-Connected Slow Sex	Slowness, connection	not measured
7. BDSM	A clear framework, heightened sensations	52.1% (being tied up)
8. Role Play	Shaking up the routine together	not measured
9. Queer Exploration	Desire more fluid than labels	36.9%
10. Intense Romantic Passion	Passion, intense connection	92.2%

Where do these numbers come from? From a Québec study published in 2015 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine: 1,516 adults, including 799 women, rated scenario by scenario what they fantasize about. The sample isn’t representative (the researchers say so themselves) and our order isn’t a ranking: take these percentages as reference points. They do make one thing very clear: none of the fantasies measured here is rare.

1. Consensual Domination (Total Surrender)

This is one of the most frequent sexual fantasies among women. Being guided. Not having to decide. Letting go of control. Becoming the burning object of someone’s desire and allowing them to take the lead. But let’s be clear: fantasizing about domination does not mean wanting to be harmed or overpowered. In fantasy, everything is chosen. The framework is clear. Consent is present. And it’s precisely that sense of safety that makes surrender possible.

The numbers back it up: in the Québec study, 64.6% of women say they fantasize about being dominated. And about half of those who describe this scenario add… that they would never want to live it for real.

2. Public Sex (Without Being Seen)

An elevator. A deserted beach. The back seat of a car. A fitting room. This fantasy plays with adrenaline and the thrill of the forbidden. It’s about being almost caught, but not quite. What makes it so exciting isn’t actual exposure. It’s the rising intensity. The faster heartbeat. The feeling of stepping slightly outside the lines.

In the same study, 57.3% of women fantasize about sex in a public place, and 81.7% about an unusual place (an office, for example).

3. The Mysterious Stranger

Among women’s most common fantasies, desiring a complete stranger comes up again and again. A spark through a glance. A wild passion that burns for one night only. Why is it so common? Because it erases the mental load. No backstory. No routine. No expectations. Just raw desire.

Nearly one woman in two (48.9%) says she fantasizes about it, again according to the Québec study.

4. Taking Control

We’ve talked about surrender, but the opposite is just as powerful. Many women fantasize about leading, initiating, setting the pace. It’s a fantasy of affirmation. Of feeling your power. Of fully owning your sexual confidence.

46.7% of the women surveyed fantasize about dominating their partner: almost as many as those who dream of a stranger.

5. The Threesome

Threesomes are among the most common fantasies for many women. The idea often centers around being the focus of multiple desires, feeling attention converge, multiplying sensations, without pressure, just within the fantasy. This fantasy is mostly about curiosity and novelty. It doesn’t signal dissatisfaction. It’s simply a way of expanding the imagination and exploring different dynamics freely.

By the numbers: 56.5% of women in the Québec study fantasize about sex with two men, 36.9% with two women.

6. Ultra-Connected Slow Sex

On the opposite end of raw intensity, many women fantasize about slow, deeply connected sex. Taking time. Looking at each other. Touching with intention. Letting desire build without rushing. This fantasy often reflects a longing for genuine connection, full attention, and real presence. A reminder that pleasure doesn’t only come from intensity, but from depth.

7. BDSM

For many women, BDSM is one of the most intriguing fantasies. For example, the idea of being tied up introduces a highly structured dynamic where every gesture has a clear frame. Voluntary restraint can intensify surrender, amplify sensation, and create that unique tension so characteristic of BDSM aesthetics.

Being tied up is a fantasy for 52.1% of women in the Québec study; being spanked or whipped, for 36.3%. One important caveat, though: choking, even “light”, is not a soft practice. As researchers point out, there are no circumstances in which it is risk-free.

8. Role Play

Role play is a recurring favorite. Imagining yourselves as strangers meeting for the first time. Playing a confident boss. Acting out a spontaneous hotel encounter. What’s appealing here is shaking things up without changing partners. You explore different dynamics and different versions of yourself, within a safe, trusting relationship. A powerful way to refresh desire while keeping what truly matters: trust.

9. Queer Exploration

The idea of an experience with another woman appears frequently in women’s fantasies, even among those who identify as heterosexual. It doesn’t define orientation. It simply shows that desire can be more fluid than labels. These fantasies often blend softness, curiosity, and the desire to discover different ways of being touched, seen, and desired. There’s nothing unusual about it. Fantasy is a space where everything can be explored without committing to anything in real life.

In the Québec study, 36.9% of women fantasize about sex with another woman. And in the United States, 59% of the exclusively heterosexual women surveyed by researcher Justin Lehmiller say they have already had a same-sex fantasy.

10. Intense Romantic Passion

Some women resonate more with passion-driven fantasies. A powerful connection. A lingering gaze. Emotional closeness that feels almost tangible. An intensity that takes up all the space.

Surprise: this is the real number one. 92.2% of women in the Québec study fantasize about romantic feelings during sex, and 84.9% about a romantic location. No other scenario is as widely shared.

Does fantasizing mean you want to live it?

No: a fantasy is a story you tell yourself, not a contract you sign. Some make you want to act on them. Others are only exciting because they stay imaginary: in your head, you control everything, from the setting to the final word. In the Québec study, about half of the women who describe a submission fantasy specify that they would not want to live it for real.

And even when the desire is there, it often stays unspoken: in Justin Lehmiller’s survey of more than 4,000 Americans, about four in five people said their favorite fantasy is something they want to act on, but only about half had shared it with a partner, and about one in five had actually done it.

So you have nothing to “confess”, nothing to act out to be a liberated woman, and no one to answer to for what goes on in your head. A fantasy can be savored solo, spice up an evening for two… or simply stay there until next time. And if you feel like moving from your head to your body, our guides to female pleasure and to stimulating the G-spot take it from there.

Where to watch these fantasies filmed with respect?

To feed your imagination without stumbling on scenes shot any old way, the simplest route is ethical porn. Porn where everyone said yes, far from the camera that always sits on the same side (that has a name: the male gaze). Three addresses fit this top 10 particularly well.

Want to see more? Our reviews of porn platforms for women go through them one by one.

FAQ

Q.01

Do fantasies change with age or relationship status?

Yes and no. Context matters. A single woman may fantasize differently than someone who’s been in a relationship for ten years. Motherhood, confidence levels, sexual experience: all of these can influence desire. There’s no fixed rule. Some fantasies emerge with age. Others fade. The imagination is never static.

Q.02

Why are some fantasies so common?

The brain loves symbolic transgression. It also loves control, and surrender. Many fantasies play with these two forces. They offer total freedom, without real-world consequences.

Q.03

How do you talk about fantasies with a partner?

Choose a calm moment, outside of sexual activity. Share what intrigues you without pressure. You might start with something simple like: “Have you ever thought about…?”

The goal isn’t to act out everything. It’s to open space for dialogue. Because sometimes, talking about desire is already incredibly intimate.

Q.04

What is the most common fantasy among women?

Not the one you’d expect. In a Québec study published in 2015 (1,516 adults, including 799 women), 92.2% of women say they fantasize about romantic feelings during sex, far ahead of being dominated (64.6%) or sex with two men (56.5%). Passion remains scenario number one.

Q.05

Is it normal to have a fantasy you definitely don’t want to act on?

Yes. In that same study, about half of the women who describe a submission fantasy specify that they would not want to live it for real. A fantasy can be exciting precisely because it stays imaginary: in your head, you decide everything.